Ahh, life.

My weekend was NUTS. I talked to Zach Thursday. He and I went to lunch on friday and then played DDR friday evening. It went alright but it was rather awkward between the two of us, especially when we started talking about what happened between us.
Saturday morning, I asked him if he still loved me. He said he didn't know how he felt but he knew it wasn't the same as before. He didn't think it was love.
I was a little sad, but mostly glad. I don't want him to hurt over me. He's had a hard enough time in the last few months without me making it worse by telling him I don't feel much of anything for him anymore. I don't really consider him a friend, and I don't love him. I care about his welfare, but I care about pretty much everyone's welfare. That's just the kind of person I am, you know?
I just want to move on from all of this and I really think I finally can now.

Saturday afternoon I got ready for fright nights. I doused myself in fake blood. It was awesome.
Theeeen the guards at the gate at Kennywood decided that people in halloween makeup were not allowed to enter the park and made me wash my face. They treated me like a criminal. It was really embarassing. I might write them a nasty email of some kind. C:

Sunday I got up at 8 after being up till 3.30. It was AWESOME.

Now I need a nap!
  • Current Music
    "I Caught Fire (In Your Eyes)" -The Used

Sparkle my city, baby.


Soo... it's about 3am. I really should be sleeping right now. I know I'm going to get called into work tomorrow around 9 or so, and I'm going to be so beat that I'm going to probably nap when I get home again. I've been ill for the last few hours, and it's hitting me really hard. I don't honestly know where it came from, but I'm praying I didn't get Mark's mono from Amanda. She and I hung out on Friday and I'm really hoping she wasn't carrying it. If she was I have to go get tested. I'll find out tomorrow.

Collapse )
 Thank god writing makes me sleepy.
Goodnight, moon.
  • Current Music
    "You're the World to Me" -David Grey

House of 1000 Corpses

I am in mutherfucking love with Rob Zombie flicks. His movies are just too good, and the characters are sooo deep. I love them. House of 1000 Corpses and The Devil's Rejects are probably two of my absolute favorite movies of all time.
On another note, I really wanna buy a nice pair of knee high boots.
On another, other note, I'm headed out to some tattoo places tomorrow to see if I can snag an apprenticeship.

Wish me luck!
  • Current Music
    She's a BRICK. HOUSE.

Not sleeping.


Is awesome.

Thank you, MySpace.

I'm gonna do my mathwork now.

Ewwwww.
<3

Road trip one week from friday.


  • Current Music
    "Piece of Me" -Britney Spears

Wtf.

So... for the past... 2 hours or so, I've been chilling around at home, doing some homework, whatever. And as I have been sitting here, I've been being overwhealmed by this sadness and started crying. Now, I'm not really upset for any real reason. There's nothing so wrong with my life at the moment that I feel the need to cry like this. My body just... started bawling, and I really don't know why. But then, the fact that I'm crying for no real reason is getting me so upset that I'm crying because I'm crying.

How fucked up is that? I just want to stop fucking crying. There's absolutely nothing wrong that would warrant these tears!

Maybe there's something wrong with my emotions. I think I'm gonna see a doctor.
  • Current Music
    "Possession" -Sarah McLaughlan

Finally, an update.

So it's been about a month since I last updated. Wow. I didn't even do a con report.

Uhm. Otakon went mostly well, I think. I had some trouble with shoes, but that was solved with some lovely white knock-off mary-jane style crocs from Claire's. And I had some drama about a picture of this girl on a book whom I was told looked like me, and it seemed to be a big joke to everyone except me. This girl on this book was about... 400 lbs, mind you. I was also told that someone I had considered friend had been talking behind my back all weekend. In front of someone who really IS my good friend. And he told me about it, so I was very perturbed. Whatever. It's over. I had a lot of fun, met some really cool people, and bought a kickass manga, so I'm happy.

Since about... I dunno like 2 or 3 weeks ago I've been going on dates with Travis. He's a -really- sweet kid, and I'm really enjoying spending time with him because he appreciates me so much, and he really makes me feel special. We've agreed not to actually be official because I need to focus on school and he's leaving for the airforce in a month, but I can't deny that I'm hoping we decide otherwise sometime in the future. He and I have soooo much in common, and we have zero awkwardness between us. Either way, I'm happy to be around him. :3

What else? I'm getting new glasses tomorrow! And uhm. I'm getting my new Driver's Lisence so Ill be able to go out drinking! Haha. Mine expired a little bit back and I was waiting for them to send me the forms to get a new one and they never did, so I'm going to AAA and telling those bitches what's up. Hmm... What else? I'm getting my books for my classes, so I'll be swamped with homework tomorrow night like craaaazy. D':
  • Current Music
    "18th Floor Balcony" - Blue October

guess where i'm going!

otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon otakon OTAKON.

Ohhh god. Otakon 2 Do List.

Mind you all of this has to ne done around working 12.30 to 9 tonight and tomorrow, as well as 9-5.30 on wednesday. D: I'll never finish it all!

To do before Otakon:

1. finish lacing ribbon through lace
2. sew lace to the hem of my skirt
3. Buy white or yellow or orange knee socks
4. thread lace for sock toppers
5. sew sock toppers to socks
6. buy 2 tiny tophats
7. make a tiny vest for my good friend Geoffrey Chaucer
8. sew elastic and ribbons onto my shoes
9. find mark a birthdy gift
10. find erin a birthday gift
11. get an oil change for my vehicle
12. clean out my vehicle (so it canbe taken for inspection)
13. finish essay
14. ask kraig for letter of reccomendation
15. have mum send app and ACT scores
16. buy duck umbrella
17. cash in coin jar
18. get $15 owed to me from a Mr. Peter Claus
19. iron both lolita dresses
20. pack!

     To Pack:
          - 4 pairs of undies/bras! (i forgot these once, it was WORST weekend EVER.)
          - bathing suit
          - strawberry lolita ( thigh highs, garters, dress, petticoat, belt, headdress)
          - duck lolita (vest, shirt, dress, petticoat, bloomers?, mini hats, mini vest, socks, Geoffrey Chaucer)
          - jeans
          - 3 tshirts
          - pajamas
          - dress for nice dinner
          - lappy + charger
          - zune + charger
          - cellular device
          - jewelry

21. possibly buy a straw hat for my strawberry lolita dress? as well as a straw bag?
22. ask erin if she will still make bloomers if possible?
23. polish shoes
24. get monies from jesse so i can buy him shit at otakon
25. talk to amanda!!!
26. kill self?
  • Current Music
    "Closer" -Ne-yo

Epic luls.

 Soooo.... I had a pretty average day today. Got my paycheck, worked, went to Eat and Park with Mark. All in all, like I said, average.

Yesterday, however, was filled with luls when I went out to EnP with Markus as usual, and he told me the funniest thing I've heard in a while. Apparently someone saw me and Mark holding hands at EnP (WHICH NEVER HAPPENED) and told Zach, and Zach felt the need to text Mark and ask him about it. And if I was dating him or not.

First off, who the fuck is Zach to care who I'm dating or not? He isn't in my life anymore. I erased that part. I spent the better part of my day today depressed for what I lost in him, and now I'm just pissed off. 

Second, I wouldn't date Mark. He's a very good friend, and I have known him forever, but he and I just don't click in a dating sort of way. We've discussed it and it's just not for us. Is there some kind of law saying that a guy and a chick can't just be friends?

Anywhoo. Back to today. So I was at work, and I was so so so happy because MariAn let me decorte a cookie cake. I drew a fuckin dinosur on it, and she said I was a natural with icing. I learned some pretty cool shit! And then, out of fucking nowhere, a moodswing hit me. I realized how little interest I have in any of the guys around me and how much I miss Zach, and it killed me. I was so upset over absolutely nothing. I really just want that part of my life to be over! How do you get over someone that you can't get out of your head? Like, really. I haven't talked to him in weeks, he's out of my phone, I don't see him anywhere, and I am still hung the fuck up. Everything around me screams his name at me, and it depresses me so much.

I NEED Otakon. Now.

I need to get away and have a weekend of duck-lolita, fun times, having dinner at Hooters, and general hilarity. Less than a week to go till my escape! Thank god!
  • Current Music
    "Shake It" -Metro Station

Birthday

Hey. Hey. Heyyyyy. 

I'm having a birthdy party. If you're friended to my livejournal, chances are I'll want you there. You should call/text me for the details!!!

412-337-1152 
  • Current Music
    "American Boy" - Estelle feat. Kanye West